Saturday Morning
by CharlesTheBold
Summary: The fate of Judith, from a new point of view. One-shot. Please Review


**SATURDAY MORNING**

_(AUTHOR'S NOTE: This isn't part of my "future Joan" series, but a sequel to my story IN RECOVERY, which ended with Judith's death)_

_(AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am not a Catholic and have never had a session in a confessional. I am basing the story on scenes I've seen on TV and movies, and research on how the sacrament works. If somebody tells me I have erred, I'll try to fix the problem)_

"Bless me, father, for I have sinned." Father Ken Mallory didn't recognize the voice on the other side of the confessional screen, though he could tell that it was female, and probably a girl still in her in teens. It didn't matter. Penitents didn't have to identify themselves, as long as they were honest about their sins and remorse.

The voice continued in less formal tones. "I haven't been here in a long time – frankly, I thought going to confession was kinda dumb. But something's happened that's so horrible that – " she seemed about to cry.

"The important thing is that you are here now," Father Ken said soothingly, letting the "kinda dumb" remark slide. That came with the territory. "Tell me what has happened."

"I've been doing drugs for a coupla years now. I thought it was OK, I didn't hurt anybody else, and I didn't let it affect my schoolwork. That's not the sin I've come about. But it led to something else."

"Sins are often interconnected. That's why we talk of a STATE of sin, not just individual ones."

"Yeah sure. Anyway, our supplier got busted last month. I think he was paying a cop to look the other way, but the cop got caught. Whatever. Anyway, we needed a new source. And we thought of a girl named Judith Montgomery. You heard of her?"

Father Ken had. Judith seemed to be close friends with Joan Girardi, and Helen Girardi had asked Father Ken's advice. On the one hand, Helen was worried that Judith was a bad influence on Joan. On the other hand, Helen's relationship with her daughter was very ticklish at the moment. After going through a dangerous illness last spring, including some hallucinations, Joan had been sent to a summer camp for disturbed teens. She had hated it there and blamed her parents for ruining her summer – though ironically it was there that Joan had met Judith. If Helen and Will came down too hard on the Joan-Judith relationship, Joan might just choose Judith and freeze out her parents altogether. Joan was a strange girl, and even her parents had trouble figuring her out.

"Just assume that I haven't, and tell me how she affected you."

"Cool. She's a new girl in town, but even so, she seemed to know where to find stuff. She threw a big party last month while her parents were away. Lots of booze and some drugs there."

"I had heard about that," Father Ken said blandly.

"Yeah. Judith drank herself sick and had to go to the hospital. But the emergency guys were so focused on Judith that we were able to flush away the drug evidence, and didn't get caught."

Father Ken wondered why it wasn't obvious to the penitent then and there that she was heading into trouble. But he let the girl proceed at her own pace.

"Afterwards we went to Judith and asked us if she could get us some more stuff. But she said she wasn't into it anymore. The hospital stay had scared her. And she had a girlfriend, named Joan Girardi, who had apparently talked her into giving up drugs. I don't know exactly what was between her and Girardi – some rumors said she was gay."

Father Ken knew that the relationship between the girls wasn't sexual. Helen, who was very watchful over her children's sexual behavior, would have mentioned it.

"Meanwhile I had a cousin who had run into Judith before," the penitent continued. "They were at a camp, she called it Crazy Camp because most of the girls there were under treatment for something or other. Judith was a real wild girl; the treatment didn't seem to work on her. The only person she'd listen to was Joan Girardi, who was also there. She had gotten sick during the spring, and the last day of school she had an awesome fit, calling Vice-Principal Price a devil and then collapsing. Anyway, Judith got into trouble for going swimming after hours without a lifeguard. They always wanted to keep an eye on the inmates. So they banned her from swimming the rest of the summer, and just to make sure, they confiscated her bathing suit—"

"Excuse me, but is this relevant?" interrupted Father Ken. "This should be about you."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming to that. Well, Judith decided to turn the tables on the counselors, so she went swimming AGAIN. And since they had taken her bathing suit, she went skinny-dipping. That means—"

"I know the term." Teens were often unaware how old "their" slang was.

"Word got around and everybody thought that was cool. They crowded around the pool. My cousin had one of those new picture-phone-thingies, and she got a picture. When she learned I was interested about Judith, she Emailed me a copy. It was taken from behind, but you could see enough of the face to recognize her."

"So one of my friends went to Judith, and showed her a copy of the picture, and told her that if she didn't find the drugs, we'd post it on the Internet and everybody would see her bare ass. She slugged him, but that didn't solve matters; I still had a copy. So eventually she gave in."

"You blackmailed her," said Father Ken, shocked, but finally relieved that the penitent had admitted to a sin.

"Yeah, I know. But that wasn't the worst of it. Last night, we picked up Judith. She directed us to an alley downtown, but she obviously hated what she was doing. She kept muttering "What'll Joan think?" I assured her that once this was over, we'd give her the picture and never bother her again, and I meant it – after all, we could deal with her pusher directly."

"Anyway, we found the pusher and made the deal. He was puzzled why Judith was hanging back, and he offered her some drugs. Both of them must have been really stressed-out at that point. Judith was probably tempted by the drugs but worried about her girlfriend's reaction. The pusher knew our previous supplier had been busted and may have worried that he was being set up. Anyway, he held the drugs under her nose, and she went "Get away from me" and hit him. Then he snapped. He pulled out a knife, and stabbed her in the stomach."

"Oh my God," Father Ken said, startled at the enormity of the wrong. The exclamation wasn't blasphemy, but a quick prayer to the Deity to bring His healing power to the situation.

"We panicked and scattered. Once I got far enough, I got out my cell and made an anonymous call to 911, saying a girl had been stabbed and telling them where."

"That, at least, was the right thing to do. You may have saved a life."

"No, I didn't." The unseen girl was definitely crying now. "I finally plucked up the courage to go to the hospital, pretending that I was visiting somebody else. When I finally got near the emergency clinic, the Girardi chick was screaming bloody murder. 'She's dead, she's dead, he didn't save her.'"

"Who didn't save her?" asked Father Ken, confused.

"I don't know. I don't care. The point is, it's my fault. Nothing would have happened if I had just thrown the damn picture away. And the more I thought of it last night, the worst it looked. Here's a girl who realized that her life was a mess, and was trying to straighten it out. And I didn't give her a chance. I dragged her back down into the s***, and the s*** killed her."

"A penitent who repents at the point of death is saved, even if she has no opportunity to put her resolve into action." Father Ken pointed out.

"Maybe. I'm still guilty of causing her death. And then there's the Girardi chick. She was already pretty weird; suppose losing her girlfriend sends her off the deep end? That would be my fault too. Oh, what am I going to do?" There was a sound like a sob.

"I think you should tell the police what you know, particularly the identity of the pusher. Regardless of how guilty you feel, he is the one who actually struck the death blow. And the Montgomery family deserves to know the whole story. Do you want them to believe that their daughter threw away her life trying to abuse drugs?"

"Can't you do that? I can tell you the pusher's name—"

"I can repeat nothing of this. The seal of the confessional."

"I could get run in for doing drugs, and for blackmail." There seemed to be panic or fear in her voice.

"Perhaps not. You are a minor, are you not?"

"Yes."

"Your age, and your willingness to help the police solve the murder, may win you leniency. Now, I cannot really order you to do this, because confessing to your priest is sufficient, according to doctrine. But taking the responsibility and the risk will be good for your soul. You have already analyzed your own guilt very well, and that is a good step on the way back to the right road. "

Father Ken outlined a course of penance, and followed it with the form of absolution. "Go and sin no more."

He heard the girl get up and open the door on her side of the screen. He was careful not to look out until she was gone.

He would probably never know who she was, never know whether she had the courage to take his advice. He had done the best he could.

It had been a sordid situation, and he felt helpless. He was not at his best at dealing with Evil, as Helen had frankly told him. He preferred to encourage the Good.

If only God were more active. Even if God stayed up in His heaven, wouldn't it be great if God sent some helper, like the prophets of old, to help make the world a better place…?

He had to have faith that it would all work out.

THE END.


End file.
